I'M NOT HAPPY

I really need to let everything that's inside of me out tonight.

I can't do this anymore. I can't keep up with this happy facade when deep down I'm feeling so ever shitty and crappy.

I've thought about writing this in the longest time ever but I've been trying to bottle everything up inside of me but it's tearing me from the insides and the tears can't stop flowing.

Today, you're gonna learn more about my personal life. The vulnerable side of me.

(This pic is not an actual convo of mine. It belongs to someone I know and I'm using it cause I can really relate to it) 

Truth is, I've very little friends. Friends who I can call my true friends, friends who've been there for me when I need them. From as far as I can remember, I've always tried to be there for those who needs me when they're feeling down and upset, but when it's my turn, they all seem to disappear.

Maybe humans are born to be self-centered. But can't they show a little more empathy towards those who deserve it? Why am I seeing the evilest of people gaining the most love and attention from those around them; friends,lovers and more?

True, I do have someone who's there for me, my bff (jessica). But fact is, she's attached, she has her own group of friends, she has work and I can't possibly rely on her from time and time again even if she wants me to.

P/S: Yes my parents will always be there for me but do understand that as hawkers, they're stressed over their daily work issues and I don't want to bother them any further with my problems when they're home after a hard day of work 

Friends whom I've known for months to years, those who I've learnt to love and trust. Broke every single ounce of trust and respect I've had for them when I found out that that person has betrayed me just to help someone new in their life.

Friends whom I thought I could rely on whenever I'm feeling down, were all gone. They didn't reply my texts, they didn't answer my calls, they completely forget about our meetups..

Then there are the friends who only look for you when they need help. There's also the other group of people who're only trying to befriend you just to gain exposure, connection etc.

WHAT AM I TO YOU PEOPLE

Have I ever done such heinous deeds that I deserve to endure all this bullshit? Seriously.

And I've yet to touch on the love aspect of my life.

This has been a while now but I've been having a big crush on someone who I got to know, who's not from Singapore.. - deleted -

- paragraph deleted - 

Like what I've mentioned last year, maybe life is just like a series of roller coaster which goes up and down... up and down. Apparently I've been at my lowest for the longest time ever. I know that I'll be stronger and better after all this but I do know one thing - I'll definitely be colder (something that my BFF pinpointed)

Perhaps being colder or being gaurded is a good thing. It'll help to prevent you any harm and make sure you're more careful of who you can trust or who you love.

So just an advice to all those who're reading my blog. Don't let anyone into your life easily unless they're willing to prove that they're willing to stay. If they really do, then love them like you've never loved before, make sure you're loving the right person but also make sure that the person is worthy of your trust and love. (this sentence applies to both bgr/friendship/etc).




I'm feeling so much better after typing all this out. Sigh, It's also one of those rare entries where you guys get to know more about me "upclose". Actually... I'm not sure if you guys understood what I've written but I hope you'll learn something from today's post.

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Kick Ass 2

MY EXAMS ARE FINALLY OVER!!!!

I'm really happy that I've time to do whatever I want now but my holidays is also countdown to my upcoming internship at the 9th of September ): Meh... i'll just make use of what I have now and try to do as much as I can during this short break. So let's get on with my usual posts (giveaway at the end of this post!)

I met up with Sebastian and KC last Saturday for a catchup session at Plaza Sing :)
Took this ugly down-under angle photo before I drove off 
We dined at Secret Recipe, which was actually one of the quieter restaurants at center of  PS.
My Seafood Penne :) The food tasted really mediocre though, it's like those kind of food where you can easily whoop up from any household kitchen.. In other words, it tasted really ordinary.
 Seb's meatball spaghetti.
 Told Seb to take some photos for me but 9/10 of them turned out to be blur. Grrrr I suppose he's one of those really rare people who doesn't even know how to use a camera haha.. But ohwell, thanks you seb for the help lolol.

We caught Kickass 2 afterwards... It was a splendid movie! Lots of action and blood woohooo, shan't spoil the story for those who've yet to watch lol
 But my favourite has got to be Hit girl :D For she's really sweet looking!! Don't you think so too? I always have a fantasy whereby my dream girl would have long black hair while riding a bike (like...Tifa from FF7). HIT GIRL IS CLOSE ENOUGH THOU LOL
Went to the arcade afterwards to kill some time ;D Taught KC on how to play the KOF/Fighting machine games :D 
 Obviously I'm a good teacher as he managed to get to the boss level within 30mins :D
Full body shot for my OOTD that day
Went to 126 for supper as the pig in me got really hungry x) Drove the both of them home afterwards before picking up my parents at their workplace. 

SO YEAH, NOW IT'S TIME FOR A GIVEAWAY
I've been delaying this giveaway for quite some time now due to my exams but now that it's over, I can quickly get this done and over with :D

Soooo i'm gonna make this giveaway really simple. All you gotta do is just email me at hikarutyler@gmail.com , answering any of this questions
1) Why do you like reading my blog?2) What do you like to see more from my blog?
and that's all :) Remember to leave me your name too!!! I'll be picking the winner on the 30th of August (2 days from now).

SalonVimBugis x Hot 91.3FM x GCweekends x Korean BBQ

Hello!!! Since I've some spare time before I start studying for my paper on tuesday, I might as well blog a little to entertain you guys :D 

Thursday 15/08/2013
(All photos are taken with my iphone as my camera's still spoilt back then)

Sooo last week, I went to Salon Vim Bugis to remove the remaining red in my hair and also to do some trimming. It was a rather last minute appointment but I'm really glad that Jaime was able to do my hair even though she was kinda sick (me too me too lol).

So here's how my hair looks like before we went ahead to remove the red in my hair.

 In case you're wondering, the red strands cannot be seen photos but it's kinda obvious if you look at my hair closely, in person.

Bleaching in progress :D 
 Posted a photo of the bleached hair on my instagram (tylerhikaru) and it seems like many of you really liked the colour!! It's a pity I can't go for such crazy colours at the moment as my intern is starting is starting soon ):
Before trimming :) 
 And after trimming! My hair looks softer, lighter and definitely healtheir :D 
 And this is how it looked like before Jaime added in the ash brown colours :)
Didn't take a proper photo of my current hair colour back then as my camera was spoilt !!!

Headed off to 91.3 with rachel to meet the other gushers as we had a radio interview there :)
 Needs no introduction here, this pretty lil sis of mine is obviously Eunice!! 

Here's rachel flipping her hair, jolene, junying and tammy at the background :) 
A group photo :D Gosh I look horrible here haha
And another mirror-photo of me before we left for dinner at Bugis :) I had terrible complexion that day and I think that my face looks all puffed up lor. Siannnzxzcxzczxczxc exam blues

In case you're wondering what Eunice was trying to do below. Basically Joanna had to go off for some birthday dinner and was giving everybody goodbye hugs. Poor eunice didn't catch her attention and got neglected... So the photo below is basically (her) waiting to get her hug... lolol 

Dinner at Bugis :) Which I didn't finish as it was toooooo spicy for me to consume!
Friday 16/08/2013 
The next day, we celebrated a post-national day gc weekends at the gushcloud office. The theme is obviously red and white but it seems that I'm the only suaku guy who actually wore red and white there... SIGH WHY LIKE THAT ONE.
My outfit for that day. 
 A photo taken with Felicia before we split ways for our destination! Don't you think she looks like Nicole from Kara? :) 
Arrived at GC office and the first thing I did was to play with the bubble blowing thingy. Look at the other old-school snacks that Gushcloud has prepared for us!
 Bloowwwwwww. What an ugly pic of me lolol
 Tadahhh!! My masterpiece for that day :p 
After merging my bubble with ashiya, it became this paw shaped monster bubble that lydia's holding!!
Frankly speaking, I feel that this blog post is rather pathetic judging by the quality and quantity of the photos. Sighhh, this is one of the first GC weekends where I actually didn't take much photos.

After that night, we headed off to Butter factory to celebrate Sheena's birthday in advance :) I went separate ways with the gushers and drank with Marcus & co at the VVIP table. The amount of champagne and alcohol we had was crazy!!! And by crazy, I really mean it!! These guys ALWAYS spends up to $20k on alcohol PER NIGHT. $20k lehh!!! Give it to me pleaseee hahaha. 
Saturday 17/08/2013
Met up with the Gushers AGAIN for  Korean BBQ/Bowling at Marina Square :D 
I don't have photos of our bowling session but you can check them out at http://euniceannabel.blogspot.sg/ if you like! I think I look horrendous though, sighhh why like that.

Went to chill by the Esplanade with the rest before heading home :) 

Sorry Jianhao. 
But this photo of you is too cute for me to not share it. Please don't hate me!
Oh and before I end, I would like to remind you guys to come back to this blog more oftenly this week cause I'll be holding a lot of giveaways :) SOOO REMEMBER TO CHECK BACK!